PRIVACY POLICY

KINDA PRIVATE BUT NOT REALLY

At RealWelter®, your privacy is as important as a torque wrench on race day. This policy explains how we (meaning: me, myself, and occasionally my dog Olive) handle your data, your clicks, and your curiosity.

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1. Data Collection
   We don’t actually track your browsing history, cookies, or what you had for breakfast. The only data we collect is whether you think this site is clever enough to make you hit “Hire.”

2. Data Usage
   Any information you share (like compliments, job offers, or secret family chili recipes) will be used exclusively to fuel creativity and maybe brag to Tamara that this crazy idea worked.

3. Third Parties
   No shady data brokers, no selling your info to spammy marketers. The only “third party” here is Olive, and she just wants belly rubs.

4. Security
   All personal information is stored securely inside my brain, locked behind two-factor authentication: coffee and common sense.

5. Your Rights
   You have the right to scroll freely, laugh at the jokes, and close this tab at any time. But if you do, you might miss out on the best creative director you’ve ever had.

6. Policy Updates
   This policy may be updated whenever I think of a funnier line. Check back often, or better yet, just hire me so we can both move on with our lives.

By continuing to view this site, you consent to being mildly entertained and potentially convinced I’m the right hire.